


About Time

by silverjewelkitten



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverjewelkitten/pseuds/silverjewelkitten
Summary: Dean explores the heaven Jack has built, and looks for Castiel.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 78





	About Time

Heaven was made anew. Not into the honeyed dream of the believers, gleaming with gold and pearls, but something altogether kinder. Something human. An afterlife deserving of those precious few. 

Dean stared out upon the open road, with all its twists and turns, feeling at once made whole and content with waiting. It would be worth it, so long as Sam got to live his life like he’d always dreamed. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, the muted tones of Zeppelin playing like an atmospheric backdrop to his journey. 

He could feel it, the thrumming of human souls at peace, and in harmony, at last. He’d stopped by to see his parents a few days back, and had tearfully reconciled with his father. They were happy together, like they always should have been on Earth. 

He was happy too. Blissfully, finally, happy, and for the first time—free. All his glorious plans, finally within reach. He pulled the car alongside Harvelle’s roadhouse, setting the car to park. He patted baby’s roof as he got out, a silent promise to return. 

The outside bench was for once, empty of passing friends. He swung the door open to raucous sounds coming from inside the bar. Ellen, arguing with a patron over peanut shells, and Jo, at her side, the water tap posed in her hand ready to spray anyone willing to upset her mother. Ellen paused her bickering when she heard him walk in, and put her hands on her hips. 

“Dean!” The girl shouted. She beamed as she saw him, dropping the tap and hopping over the partition to run to him. 

He folded her into a hug and planted a kiss on her temple. “Hmm. You smell like French fries.” He pulled back and gave her a grin.

“That’s better than engine oil.” He shrugged, unable to disagree. She wiped her hands on her apron. “It’s good to see you.” She said, patting his shoulder and walking off to help with a customer.

Ellen approached him, ruffling his hair. “Deano. What’s the occasion?” He shifted foot to foot.

“What, I gotta make an appointment now?” She laughed and turned her back to him to walk back behind the bar counter. 

“What’ll it be, son?” R.E.O Speedwagon started on the juke box and Ellen rolled her eyes. “That girl is gonna drive me up the wall.” 

Dean bobbed his head. She slapped at his arm playfully. “I’ll just have a Coke for now, I’m getting back on the road.” She flipped a glass with flare, and prepared his drink. “Nice moves.” 

“Old habits.” The woman leaned on the counter in front of him. “So what brings you in?”

Dean sighed. “Well, I don’t mean to bother you.” He scratched at his head. “But there was something I was meaning to ask you.”

“Out with it, boy.” He met her eyes, a serious expression on his face. She refilled the peanut bucket next to him. “The tension coming off you is disrupting the peace.” 

He gave a nervous chuckle.“Sorry about that.” He paused. “Have you seen Cas?” She scrunched her eyebrows. His hands wrung against the bar. Anxiety like this was uncharacteristic on him, she thought, and she put her hand over his to stop them.

“That angel of yours?” And there was that word: yours. All at once taking on new meaning. Ellen squeezed his hand sympathetically.

“Yeah that’s the one.” He said, wriggling a hand away to take a swig of his soda. Talking about it was still raw. 

“Seen him? No. He avoiding you or something?” She took a cloth and wiped at sticky residue on the counter. Something in his expression made it difficult to look at him.

“Yeah, something like that.” He sat up straighter in his stool, and wished he’d ordered a shot instead. “It’s just, I need to tell him something.”

“Well, I can’t tell you where he is. Sorry, kid. Last I heard he was with your boy, Jack.” Dean nodded. “That boy is really something.” Dean smiled and ran a finger along the condensation on his glass. “Y’all raised him right.” 

“Yeah, I guess we did.” Dean finished off his Coke. “Just thought I’d pick your brain. Thanks, Ellen.” She patted his back again. 

Jo came up behind him. “You come by whenever, ok? Don’t let my mom scare you off.” Ellen swatted at her for eavesdropping.

“Sure thing, kid.” Dean said, standing and sliding his glass away. 

“I’m sure that angel will come around.” Ellen said, “I’ll keep an ear out.”

He said his goodbyes, hugging the women again. 

The impala gleamed in the sunlight of early afternoon, and there was a familiar shape leaning against her hood.

Castiel. “Hello, Dean.” He fidgeted nervously, with the hems of his white shirt, untucked. His trenchcoat was nowehere to be seen. Heaven looked good on him. Gone was the pallor of his fading grace, and in its place was a lively glow. He looked at peace. 

Dean stopped in his tracks. How long had it been? Weeks? A year? Against his better judgement, he smiled. “You son of a bitch.” He stalked forward and threw his arms around him. “Where the hell have you been?” Castiel’s arms wrapped around him gingerly, like he were afraid it was only a dream. 

“I…I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.” Dean released him, and stepped away. 

“I prayed to you. That’s horse shit.” Dean spit out, pacing. Castiel, to his credit, looked genuinely apologetic. 

“I’m sorry.” He sighed and folded up the sleeves of his dress shirt. The summer sun was taking its toll. Nowadays he felt more human than not, even if it was just reflexive. “The truth is, I couldn’t face you.” 

“Yeah, and why’s that?” Dean barked, that characteristic rage to his voice. Castiel outstretched a hand to him, and dropped his wrist. Dean softened, then, at his touch. Castiel’s hand slid along his arm to grip him where he’d once branded his soul. Dean stifled a shiver, a phantom ache ripping through him. The anger passed through him like water. 

“What I did…it was selfish.” He let his hand fall back to his side. There was such tenderness in his eyes. 

Dean sighed and scooted onto the roof of the car. “You’re damn right it was.” Castiel shuffled his feet and turned his gaze to the ground, ashamed. 

“What I said, the way that I feel, it’s not your burden to carry.” Dean laughed beside him, and he looked to him, confused.

“You think that’s why I’m pissed?” Dean rolled his eyes and slicked his hair back with a hand. Castiel settled at his side, ready to hear whatever it was he had to say. “Listen, Cas. You don’t get to drop a bomb like that and just dip. You don’t get to just die on us. On me.” 

Castiel said, exasperated. “I don’t regret it, Dean. I did what was necessary to save you. To save the world that you love. That I love.” Dean drummed his fingers angrily on the shell of the impala. 

“We would have found another way.” The bite from his anger was gone, but the hurt remained. “We always do.”

“Dean, there was no other way.” The hunter met his eyes finally. Castiel’s face was open and honest. 

“So, it’s you over me, huh?” Dean bit the inside of his cheek. Castiel smiled. 

“It’s what you would have done.” Castiel ached for him, this man who after everything still didn’t believe he deserved to be saved. The sun was just beginning to sink in the sky and they looked out at it together. A pleasant silence overtook them.

Some time passed, and just as Dean wished for a beer, one appeared in his hand. He smirked, and internally thanked Jack. It was peaceful here, with his best friend.

“Me too. Y’know.” Dean murmured, as he cracked the lid. Castiel looked at him quizzically. Dean’s cheeks were hot as he met Cas’ eyes. “What you said before. Me too.” The angel quirked a smile.

“You don’t have to say it. I’m fine with the way things are, Dean. But, I appreciate the sentiment.” Dean grumbled and sat his bottle on the ground by their feet. 

He boxed the angel in, his hands by his hips on the hood of the car. “No. You’re not hearing me. I do. Love you or whatever.” Castiel’s eyes widened, and he self-consciously swallowed past the lump in his throat. His collar felt curiously tight and he fidgeted with it.

“Dean, I don’t think that you-“ Dean surged forward and kissed him, breaking through his excuses. This was a language that they could both understand. After all, communication had never been their strong suit. 

Castiel brought a trembling hand to Dean’s jawline. He’d not had much practice with this, but if anything he was an angel willing to throw himself into unknown territory and learn by experience, especially for Dean.

Dean’s stubble was rough from two days without a shave, but it didn’t matter. He tasted like cheap beer, and grave dirt, and gunmetal. Like Manna. How long had he dreamed of this? He had been content with his choice. To die. To love from a distance. To allow Dean an afterlife free from expectation. 

Dean pulled back, finally, and rested his forehead against Castiel’s. “Don’t tell me what I do or don’t feel.” Castiel ran his fingers appreciatively though Dean’s hair, memorizing the feel of him. 

“Alright. Then tell me.” Cas asked, pulling back enough to make eye contact. His hair was mussed and his eyes seemed in a daze. “How do you feel?”

“I love you. Don’t disappear on me again.” Cas cradled Dean’s face in his hands and pulled him into another kiss, unhurried. They had all the time in the world.


End file.
